


A Kiss Before You Go to Hell

by Sloane



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Jonah Magnus Gets Played by a Ghost, Just Desserts, M/M, Non-Consensual Kissing (at First), Revenge, Spooky
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-04
Updated: 2020-07-04
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:08:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25078135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sloane/pseuds/Sloane
Summary: Everyone asks sooner or later, always where they think he can’t see.“Do you think that skull in Elias’s office is real?”It’s not only real, but haunted, and the restless spirit bound to it has been storing power for nearly 200 years.Barnabas Bennett strikes while Jonah Magnus is weakest—that is to say, while he’s engrossed in spreadsheets.
Relationships: Barnabas Bennett/Jonah Magnus
Comments: 14
Kudos: 124





	A Kiss Before You Go to Hell

**Author's Note:**

> Elias/Jonah is one of my favorite characters, and that’s why he must suffer.
> 
> This is also an extremely convoluted excuse to make a joke about Elias making YouTube rant videos with a skull in the background.

The skull sitting on the bookshelf behind Jonah’s desk is, like anything else in his well appointed office, easily overlooked. It’s a morbid curiosity to anyone who hasn’t spent year after year letting their eyes drift over it, ignoring it along with every other carefully chosen piece of the background. The skull is moved only when it becomes necessary to redecorate, and even then only slightly. Accent pieces are shifted about or removed as changing tastes demand, but the skull is always there, forever staring over Jonah’s shoulder as he works. The shoulder changes from time to time as well. Elias was a lot like Barnabas in many ways, but Jonah chose him for his excellent bone structure, not sentimentality.

Jonah rarely thinks of Barnabas these days. Every now and then a chill runs down his spine, drawing his attention to the skull on the shelf, and Jonah spares a little smirk its way. 

“Is that the best you can do?”

But of course there’s no reply.

If he wanted, Jonah could lock the skull away in storage where it would never be seen again, but he likes it this way. He enjoys the irony of keeping Barnabas close in death after abandoning him in life. Perhaps it’s his way of punishing himself as well, but Jonah Magnus is not a man who admits fault to anyone, least of all himself.

For someone who is always watching, perhaps it is also only fair he be watched as well. 

It feels perversely _right_.

Barnabas falls dormant around the same time Jonah kills Gertrude Robinson. Just as well, he can’t be bothered with a petty spirit occasionally shuffling his papers or giving him a chill when there’s so much work to be done.

He looks in on the new Archivist and his assistants from time to time. The subject of the skull inevitably comes up. Tim makes reference to it being a standard prop for rant videos on YouTube, whatever that means, and the jokes deteriorate from there. Jonah reminds himself that only Jon truly matters, the rest are fodder for his ritual.

Sure enough, one of them is replaced by the Stranger during the first trial of sorts. The Archivist is marked by the Corruption, and in discovering Gertrude Robinson’s body he comes to suspect everyone but Jonah of her murder, so things are proceeding quite splendidly.

Jonah hums to himself as he pours over the spreadsheet detailing the Institute’s finances. All total the worms did slightly less damage than estimated, and with only one casualty—though Ms. James is still technically on the payroll until her doppelgänger is exposed. Letting the Stranger think they’ve successfully infiltrated the Eye’s Stronghold is going to be amusing. 

The real question is how long before Jon and the others figure it out.

Long enough that the joke of smiling at ‘Not-Sasha’ in the Archive halls will inevitably wear thin, more than likely. Strange that Jonah would miss the constant battle of wits he fought with Gertrude Robinson, but he wanted a more malleable Archivist—and he found all that and more in Jonathan Sims.

Jonah sighs and rubs his eyes. The glare of the computer screen is getting to him. He sits back in his plush leather chair, glad he can let himself relax like this after so long spent figuratively looking over his shoulder. That was yet another reason to be rid of Gertrude, Jonah could finally fucking breathe—pardon his French—and not catch a whiff of petrol fumes on the air.

Jonah closes his eyes.

Ice cold lips touch his.

Jonah opens his eyes.

No one is there. The computer screen is flickering wildly, a riot of colors playing across it in lines and boxes before it finally gives up and dies away in one last pinpoint of light.

As icy hands grip Jonah’s face, he blinks, shifting his perception. 

The room takes on a new cast as he views it with different eyes. Jonah can see above himself as Barnabas’s spirit forces his tongue into Jonah’s mouth. He sees his many glowing eyes go wide at the shock of being on the receiving end of such treatment for once, while Barnabas keeps his closed.

Two hundred years is a long time. It can make even a tender soul like Barnabas as cold and cruel as Jonah himself.

The tears in Jonah’s eyes freeze upon his cheeks as he kisses Barnabas back—reluctantly at first, then with desperate hunger. Jonah’s hands slide up around a waist that grows more solid by the moment. He doesn’t think of what he’s doing or what’s fueling this power, nor does he care the temperature in the room is rapidly dropping. He wants to lie, whisper apologies for leaving Barnabas, beg forgiveness, plead for him to stay, but that would mean breaking the kiss—and Jonah is not the one in control here.

Jonah blinks, coming back to himself so he’s staring at Barnabas solely with his original eyes again. 

At last Barnabas opens his eyes. Jonah really shouldn’t be surprised at the sight that greets him.

There is no love burning in those cold blue eyes, only a seething loathing that tells Jonah Barnabas watched and waited centuries, feigning weakness, all while gaining the strength to do exactly this.

Barnabas pulls away, sucking his ex-lover’s spirit from its stolen body.

Jonah tries to scream, but it’s lost with the rest of him. 

They go down together.

* * *

Sasha is out when Jon finds Elias slumped over his desk just after lunch. He calls Tim and Martin in because it has to be seen to be believed—and he doesn’t want to be blamed if Elias turns out to be dead.

Tim punches Martin in the shoulder and points to the bookshelf. The skull is shattered.

Martin shrugs.

Elias groans as he comes to, his breath fogging in the air as he blearily focuses on the trio crowded around his desk.

“Who the hell are you?”

**Author's Note:**

> I might use this as basis for future ‘Jonah gets sucked out of Elias’ tales, but (since I don’t really do smut) if anyone wants to write ‘Jonah and Barnabas have hate ghost sex’ stories, feel free. They didn’t necessarily go straight to hell!


End file.
